101 Ways to Annoy Germany
by Mega-Prindel-of-Doom
Summary: When Germany goes too far in an April Fool's prank, Prussia will stop at nothing to get his revenge. Especially since it involves annoying Germany, in 101 different ways! Will Germany retain his sanity or will Prussia push him off the brink? Mild crack.
1. Peeps, Gilbird, and Long Lists

**101 Ways to Annoy Germany**

Prologue

Prussia growled angrily to himself as he ran his fingers through his messy white hair. _Screw that West, ruining his April Fool's Day with that one prank of his. _In fact, not that the proud ex-nation cared to admit it, but Germany's revenge for all those past April Fool's Day tricks was actually pretty good, for a guy with a stick tightly wedged up his you-know-where anyway.

Stupid, stupid, Germany, offering him that box of peeps and telling him they were made of chicks. And of course, he had to bird-nap Gilbird too. Thankfully, the little chick was now nestled in Prussia's white mop, safe from the candy company at present.

Glancing at the laptop screen that illuminated his face, Prussia waited for the damn webpage to load, wondering if it was somehow Estonia's fault. "Ah, finally!" The ultimate tool for his revenge was right before his eyes! Sniggering, Prussia bookmarked the list, called **101 Ways to Annoy Your Roommate**. Germany wouldn't know what hit him.

**The list was cobbled together from various versions off the internet. Please review!**


	2. Of Light Bulbs and Sobriety

**Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often about the cost of light bulbs.**

Germany woke up with a start. Goddamn it, those dreams about cuckoo clocks were starting to bother him. And of course, there was the thing with France… Having to share a border with the perverted nation was, in Germany's opinion, one of the worst things in his long and hard life. Then again, it may have been due to the time France put him into a maid dress and paraded him around Europe. _That_ did not go well.

Deciding that a glass of warm water would help, Germany attempted to avoid the dog toys that were scattered around his bed. Instead, his foot landed on the chewed-up remains of something (Germany hoped it wasn't his boots) deposited at the foot of his bed. Cursing softly under his breath as not to wake his dogs, Germany wiped the saliva-covered thing off his foot. How many unfortunate things were going to happen to him in one night anyway?

Germany was answered in the worst way possible; it was as though fate was playing a particularly cruel joke on probably the only sane country in Europe. A tinkle of broken glass, followed by some rather demonic giggling sounded out from his kitchen. Stiffening, the nation pulled out a revolver from under his pillow and ran through the possible causes of that disturbance in his head.

Was it an intruder? Perhaps Prussia had forgotten his set of keys and decided to take the easy way in by breaking open a window. Or maybe it was Italy, coming in to shelter from the gun-toting xenophobe otherwise known as Switzerland. Oh God, Italy had better not be streaking in front of Liechtenstein. Spain and France could have come looking for Prussia… No, it could not be; they usually knocked before kicking the door down and barging right in, dirty boots and all. It would be safer if he just got down to investigate…

Creeping slowly down the stairs, Germany was painfully aware of every creak and groan of the steps. Praying hard that the intruder would not hear him, the blond made it off the last few steps safely and made a dash towards the kitchen. Pushing open the heavy wood door (whose hinge he should have oiled years ago), Germany prepared for the fight of his life.

"Hey! Hiya, West!" Prussia was casually leaning on the kitchen counter while holding a large hammer, the shattered remains of a light bulb at his feet. "What's wrong? You looked like you've seen a ghost! Has England been asking you talk to his invisible friends again? Or did France steal all your beer?"

"How much beer did you drink?" Germany decided get to the point. Prussia certainly _looked_ sober enough, but with Prussia, it was better not to assume things. The entire UN had learnt that the hard way after Prussia crashed the 2010 Christmas party and did some unspeakable things with a goat, a vodka bottle, and a bunch of balloons. It was better to put it this way; after the party, Russia had curled into ball on the floor and was crying for his mother while France had started screaming in sheer horror.

"Relax bro; I'm one hundred percent sober." Prussia flashed a grin at Germany, who looked unconvinced. _"_I'm just turning off the kitchen lights." "With a _hammer_?" Right, this time, things looked serious. Had Prussia drunk himself into such a stupor that he thought he was _sober_? That was a terrifying thought indeed.

"Well, duh."Prussia rolled his eyes expressively. "Can you believe how much supermarkets nowadays charge for one damn light bulb? Five freakin' bucks! I could buy a can of beer with that much money!" Sighing, he flopped into a nearby chair. "Care to join me for a drink, West?"

"No thanks," Germany muttered as he backed away. "I'll just go back to sleep." "_And take an aspirin." _He added quietly to himself. Hopefully, things would be back to normal in the morning. Prussia smirked as he watched Germany's retreating back._ Little did he know that things were about to get weirder, and a lot more interesting… _


End file.
